The World Up High
by kandykan
Summary: Crack!round-robin written by Blueberryteeth/MezzeVerita, nerdymoosechild on deviantART, and me. Edward finds himself in a floating house with a mischievous fairy and colorful nations. Hilarity ensues. Rated M for adult language and some smut. Story image drawn by  nerdymoosechild.
1. UP

**A/N: Yep, this round-robin fic is a complete crack, but it has to be one of my favorite stories! By the way, we don't own any of the characters. Except Rumpelstiltskin****—h****e's mine! Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: UP<strong>

Once upon a time there was this guy. The guy's name was Edward. Every time it rained, he would take a stroll through the woods. Then he died. Then magically he was resurrected by the power of magical!Haku and got super powers and thus became super!Edward! He was outside in the woods because it was raining, and he found a fairy drowning in a puddle.

"Oh help me super!Edward, or else I'll shove pixie dust up your nose!" the fairy said.

"Gurl, you can eat mah dust! Mmhmm," yelled Edward. Then the fairy somehow got out of the puddle with the help of its unicorn calling powers and flew after super!Edward. The unicorn was about to stab him in the derrière when suddenly . . . Edward fell backward into a hunter's trap dug into the ground! He then levitated into the sky with the powers of the heavens.

Meanwhile back in Italy, a certain angry Italian was joining a certain cult . . . The cult's rite of passage included being bitten by the leader, whose name was Aro.

"I really want to be in this damn club, so make it quick, okay?" And then with his newly acquired vampire powers, he appeared in a house. When he walked around the house, he noticed that the floor was unsteady, so he popped his head out of a heavily curtained window. Whoa, he was floating in the sky! Damn green balloon almost hit him in the head—wait, balloons? Just then there was a sudden knock at the door. Romano then opened the door to a young boy with bushy eyebrows.

"'Ello friend! My name is Peter! I'm selling scones!"

And then a voice from a room towards the back called out, "Go away you bloody wanker. I thought I told you to go home already! I don't need any help crossing the bloody street!"

Suddenly, Edward levitated into the house and exclaimed, "I'm so sorry! Am I crashing a bachelors' party?"

He hoped so. He looked so hideous with leaves and dirt in his hair (which was uncomfortably different from his usual prissy look) it was no wonder he was still single.

"My word! A bachelors' party? I'm in!" Peter said joyfully.

"No you aren't! Get your arse out of my house this very instant!" Arthur exclaimed, stamping his foot on the floor causing the house to lean hard to the left, making everyone slide across the floor to the other side of the house. Everyone was piled on top of each other, and a voice cried out, "Eww, you're kissing me!"

Arthur groped around for the doorknob above his head and tried to knee the stranger (whom he thought was Edward) in the head so their lips would separate, but he got an accented squeal instead of a girly, hissy one. "Oh, thank Shakespeare it's you, Sealand! I thought you were that other guy. Wait, how did you get inside?"

"Well, I stole one of your magic books Iggybrowz! I now know the spell to teleport! I shall rule the world! MUAHAHAHA!" Peter smirked.

"Dammit! How did I get in this situation? All I did was turn into a vampire, chiiigggggiiiii!" Romano dropped to the ground and broke down into a temper tantrum.

Edward pitied Romano. If he didn't fall in love soon, he too would break down crying. So he said to Peter, "If you rule the world, child, you'd better not be communist and ban love!"

"If love was banned, then I would never have been put in this situation! That wanker of an American shouldn't have bloody broken up with me!" England muttered under his breath.

In short Peter became very confused. "But isn't love a good thing?"

"No! It's bloody stupid and pointless!" the Briton screamed at little Peter.

Edward nodded in agreement and whined, "I'm so alone!"

"FOREVER ALONE!" Romano cried into the floorboards. However, at that instant, the house rocked violently, and Romano was thrown forward into the nearby love seat.

The Englishman furrowed his face-consuming eyebrows and glared at the Italian that face planted into the plush old love seat. "Don't touch my stuff you git! You're worse than Alfred was!"

Just then, Edward realized something—he didn't know any of the people he was in the room with! Edward stammered out, "W-who are you?"

The man with the monstrous caterpillars stepped forward and held out his hand to Edward. "Well . . . My name is Arthur Kirkland. And what exactly are you doing in my house?"

Edward looked at Arthur's hand but didn't take it. "Remember? I levitated here—after dying and being chased by a unicorn, to say the least!"

"Oh, don't tell me you let Gregory out again, did you?" Arthur firmly whispered to a small fairy flitting about the room in the shadows.

Even with his vampire senses, Edward hadn't noticed him flying around the house. But now, as Arthur whispered to Rumpelstiltskin (the Rumpelstiltskin we all know was actually named after this fairy), he saw the fairy. Then the fairy flew up behind Romano and used his magic to turn the young Italian man into a small furry feline.

"WHAT THE HELL?" the nation-turned-cat hissed.

"Rumpelstiltskin—come here for a second." When the fairy was within earshot Arthur asked, "Why did you give Romano claws? Do you know what he could do with those? Look—they're already digging into my chair!"

Romano spat and clawed at Arthur's favorite chair. The stuffing came falling out as he dug deeper and deeper into the leather love seat. "Fuck you, England! You deserve this!"

Rumpelstiltskin laughed and spoke in his extraordinarily low and loud voice, "I'm 2076 years old, and I never get tired of watching all of you fight, almost destroy the world, make up, then break up again. Ahahahaha!"

All this time, Edward was getting very, very confused. "Why are you calling Arthur England? And what do you mean almost destroy the world?"

Arthur wasn't really in the mood to explain this. Instead he just frowned, bunched his eyebrows, and muttered something about how magic was more trouble than it was worth. He should have never bought the house from that weird old man with the long white beard and half-moon spectacles.

"Well anyway," Peter began, "Arthur, can I use your kitchen? I knew you wouldn't want any scones from me, but I figured it was worth a shot. But they'll be so good once I make them! So pleeease can I use it?"

"The hell you git! Of course you can't! You aren't even supposed to be in my house let alone my sacred kitchen!"

Peter pouted. "Come on, you know you'll want some when that delicious smell is wafting in from your kitchen. If you don't let me I'll make up a story to tell this nice gentleman—" he gestured to Edward "—about how you almost burnt down the world with your cooking."

Arthur's face turned bright red and his eyes got wide. "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" Arthur looked down at his feet and mumbled under his breath to no one in particular, "That was only just that one time. . . ."

"You really did that? I thought I would have to make something up! Tell me! I want to hear!" Peter demanded.

Arthur's nostrils flared up as he lifted his head to face the young micro-nation. ". . . No, it's embarrassing . . . The only nation whose memory I didn't erase after that was that bloody wanker America's . . . Golly good fun that was . . . Arsehole. . . ."

"Shoot." The young boy snapped his fingers in disappointment. "I shall have to ask him then when I sell him my scones. . . ." Peter hurried off to the kitchen before Arthur could catch him. He hoped.

"Fine then, just don't burn the house down . . . We can't escape so we would be in a lot of trouble if that happened," England called after Peter as the young boy skipped away to the kitchen.

Romano the Italian Cat trotted along after Sealand to see if he could catch any falling food or dough, because England wasn't paying attention to him anymore. That, and he hadn't yet figured out how to meow loudly or screech menacingly at anyone.

"So," Edward started, "I'm guessing you're not the best cook Arthur?"

"I AM SO!" England retorted with his nose turned up into the air hotly.

"Can you make muffins? Because if you can't . . . Wait a second—aren't muffins called something different in England? And I still don't understand why they were calling you England!"

"I don't even know your name! Why should I tell my secrets to someone who just—showed up in my house?" England asked. Just then neko!Romano popped his head around the corner of the door leading into the kitchen.

"I know why and I'd be happy to tell you if you get me back in my original form," he purred.

"Weren't you a vampire before you got turned into a cat? So what if I bit you again? Would you turn back into a vampire?"

"Um . . . I'm not so sure it works that way," Romano replied hastily and then turned to face Arthur. "Maybe you could find a damn spell that actually works Scone Jerk?"

Rumpelstiltskin smiled to himself. His work here was done! Oh, how he loved making mischief.

"Dammit! Hurry up ENGLAND!" Romano hissed at the top of his little kitty lungs.

At Romano's call for England, Peter hurriedly got down off the counter on which he was standing. He didn't want it to seem like he needed help reaching the flour; he could bake these scones on his own, he just knew it!

Arthur stomped into the kitchen and bent down to look at Romano in the eye. "Why should I help you, you bloody—AAAHHH!"

The container of flour rolled off of its shelf and crashed down, breaking open. White powder covered neko!Romano's face, making him cough and sneeze.

"Don't worry, I was just getting the—jam?" Peter said.

"YOU DON'T NEED JAM TO MAKE SCONES!" Romano spat. "Even I know that . . . little kids. . . ."

"But don't we need jam for the bachelors' party?" asked Peter while Arthur, also covered in flour, glared at him.

"No, we don't! We don't need cats, either, so change me back! And Edward! I will make Jane torture you if you don't try something quick!" threatened Romano.

"Wait, you're part of the Volturi!" Edward's eyes widened, and he quickly clamped his jaw around Romano's small, feline neck and bit down hard. "Ewww! You taste horrible!"

Silly git should have known better, thought Arthur. Flour tasted awful, so he never used it in his food. Especially not sweets! Stupid cookbooks and recipes that lie. They should just all be burned! Damn, now he was starting to think like Germany.

"YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT CATS!" Romano screeched as his neck found Edward's fangs. "GET YOUR DAMN MOUTH OFF OF ME YOU GAY VAMPIRE! REAL MEN DON'T SPARKLE!"

Peter looked at them incredulously. "Sparkle? I'm not understanding anything that's going on here. Are you talking about England's imaginary friends or something?"

"Oh shut up you wanker, he means that vampires sparkle! When in fact all REAL men have the ability to sparkle at will like ME!" Arthur interjected.

"Then why can't I sparkle?" Sealand asked, still making no move to clean up the mess behind him.

"Because," the elder nation sighed, "You're just a little pathetic micro-nation that will just die in a couple years . . . So in NO way you are a man or ever will become one!"

"What about if I was a vampire? Being undead can't be that bad. In fact, if I can get recognized as a country it must be bloody brilliant!" Peter exclaimed.

"Like hell that would work you little arse," Arthur snickered while squishing the boy's head down and tousling his short blond hair, making it even more of a mess than it already was.

"I can't turn you, child, sorry," stated Edward. "It wouldn't be morally right. But I can always suck blood from other creatures like cats; that doesn't go against my personal set of values."

"SO IT'S OKAY TO BITE ME?" Romano hissed in Edward's ear while trying to scratch the feminine man to death. He didn't seem to realize that there was vampire venom coursing through his veins at that very moment.

"Cats don't feel as humans or vampires do. They are not capable of passionate love . . . love . . . MUST LOVE SOMETHING NOW!" Edward cried. "It's not fair! Rosalie and Emmett are together, and Alice and Jasper are together! Why can't I have a soul mate!"

Peter looked down on everyone in satisfaction. He scoffed, "Looks like I'm the mature one now!"

"GET OFF!" Romano yelled as he continued batting at Edward's pearly flesh. Suddenly, Romano passed out as the vampire venom finally reached his heart.

_I bought this house to get away. . . ._ Arthur thought to himself. _Why is it that I can't I get any peace even when I am 10,000 feet above ground?_

Suddenly the house came to a crashing halt. All the men stopped what they were doing and looked around. Even Peter, who wasn't technically an adult, and Romano, who was startled awake, started paying attention to the loud popping noises coming from outside. The house had hit a cliff and the balloons all started to pop! But nothing was touching them, so why were they popping? It was then that Arthur noticed that Rumpelstiltskin had disappeared.

"Abandon ship!" Arthur called as he flashed back. This reminded him of the time his crew had thought their ship would sail off the edge of the earth. Speaking of, at this point he really felt like pushing someone off the edge of the earth. Namely, SEALAND!

Romano's claws, now even more razor-sharp and erect after his second vampire transformation, grabbed at Edward clinging for support as everyone jumped out of the no longer flying vessel. "CHIIIIIGIII! Don't forget me!"

Romano was startled by the rush of the cold air, and he didn't exactly feel safe in super!Edward's arms. So his puny inferior feline brain didn't know what to think when he was swooped down on by a Volturi vulture. Riding on the vulture was none other than Rumpelstiltskin, waving around a bright yellow lightsaber. Rumpelstiltskin giggled and flipped everyone off.

"Hey, that's my thing!" Romano mewled and counted the toes on his paws. He missed having a middle one. "Stop stealing my act!" he cried after the vulture. Romano stood with a rigid back and his tail puffed up as he saw something appear out of the corner of his eye. Another cat came up to him purring and started to rub up against Romano's flank.

"Stop it damn bastard!" he spat while trying to escape the other cat's extreme case of amour.

"Awww, but I want to be with you Lovi," the other cat mewed, increasing the friction between the two cats. "I can call you Lovi, sí?"

"N-no!" Romano whined while backing up from the appeared to be Spanish cat that was currently assaulting him.

"Why not? I went through all the trouble of being dropped off by a vampiric vulture and now you're saying you want me to stop?" Spain-cat whined.

"Uh! You bastard! I can't believe you followed me all the way here! I thought you would've given up by now; after all I did dump your ass two months ago you stalker-pedophile!" the Italian hissed.

Arthur watched the drama unfold from his bedroom window. He had tricked them into jumping out of the house and leaving him alone! Huzzah for the British Empire! This new cat was good—he was dodging all of Romano's attempts to scratch him, which was pretty impressive. He couldn't put a finger on it, but he could definitely feel it—the new cat was of Spanish descent. How he used to hate Spain! But their siestas were good. Right as Arthur was about to take one, a certain fairy snuck up behind him and gave him a good, hard shove. England came flying out of the house brow-first and face-planted into the mountaintop along with the others.

"Dammit Rumpels! I thought I had already scolded you enough about your tricks!" he cried while shaking his fist in the air in anger as the house flew back into the air by the power of the fairy's magic.

"I have your house! That makes me a nation!" Peter yelled from the window while waving a hand goodbye down at the others. "What? Yes it does!"

Before he knew it he, too, was pushed out.

"Oh poo! My tush isn't made for falling fifteen feet out of a moving house!" the small boy exclaimed as he hit the ground with a hard thud that made dust rise around him in a tiny puff.

Arthur looked on in horror as his beloved colored house was commandeered by a creature no larger than his hand.

"Heheheheh! See you later, alligators!" the fairy called out after the others as the house rose up and out of sight. "Yeah, that's right, I was the one who crashed the house, but I can repair balloons with fairy magic. And I have all your spellbooks!"

Rumpels cackled evilly. He brandished his lightsaber in everyone's shocked face. Then he and the house disappeared in a brilliant flash. Everyone stared at the now empty patch of sky with startled looks plastered on their faces.

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><p><strong>AN: Review! Pleeeeeease. :)**


	2. Down

**A/N: A short chapter. Read, and enjoy! Remember, we don't own any characters from _Hetalia_ or _Twilight_.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Down<strong>

"We're stranded!" cried Peter.

"Dammit it's all your bloody fault you little prick," Arthur huffed. Then he heard a high-pitched, loud feline squeal as if one of the cats was in tremendous pain. Arthur turned around and saw one of the cats trying to push the other off the cliff by prying his claws off the top as he hung over the side.

"HELP ME UP YOU BASTARDS!" Romano cried as he dangled precariously on the edge of the cliff. He bunched up his haunches and scraped his back paws at the side of the cliff trying to catch grip and crawl back to the top. Antonio, the other cat, held Romano in place on the cliff edge with his front two paws.

"Aw, Lovi!" Antonio mewed, "You know I won't pull you up until you confess that you love me and want to be with me and marry me and have all my babies and stay with me forever and ever and ever!"

Then Peter asked, "When did you become a cat? Wait, if everyone becomes a cat, and I don't, does that mean I get to be a country? Rumpelstiltskin, come back! Turn everyone into a cat!"

Arthur turned around and glared at the little micro-nation. "Hmph! I think not! Besides, Rumpels would NEVER do that to a good friend like me!"

"But didn't he just steal your house away?" Edward chimed in.

Arthur glared at him. "He wouldn't have done that if it weren't for you bloody prick!"

_Bloody __prick __. . . __oody __prick __. . . __dy __prick __. . ._ The sound echoed around the valley and the surrounding rock. The world seemed vast and empty. Maybe that was because no one was doing their job as a nation and everyone was too busy worrying about love or baked goods.

"It was _your_ unicorn I was running from if I remember correctly," Edward reminded England.

"Oh leave poor Gregory out of this! He was just playing a little game. It's not his fault you're a little whiny baby like Sealand over there," England pouted, pointing at Peter who was bent over on the ground looking at bugs crawl into a crevice in the cliff.

With a loud hiss Romano landed back on top of the cliff and pounced onto Spain, wrestling with the other feline.

"Take that you damn bastard!" Romano yowled while batting at him playfully with a paw.

"You can hug me all you want, Lovi! It's okay if I get a little hurt, really!" Spain smiled. Romano extracted his long sharp claws and held a paw up above his head threatening to bring it down in one mighty swipe and knock the poor Spaniard upside the head. His ears flattened down on his head and his eyes narrowed as he readied for attack.

"DIEEEE!" Romano hissed as he brought down his paw.

Spain ducked and hid behind Arthur, who still looked pretty scary from yelling at Edward.

"Or maybe we could take a break from all this romance stuff," he proposed. "If it makes you happy—what makes you happy?"

He crouched behind Arthur's leg as Romano tried to hit him again.

"As for me I like nice, relaxing days and clean kitty litter, and also tomatoes! Do you like tomatoes? My blood looks like tomatoes but don't slice me open! We can work—" Spain shifted again to avoid Romano's paw "—through this!"

Romano grumbled and sat down, shoulders hunched over and slouched. One curl stood out from the rest of his sleek body and twitched in irritation as he grumbled at the other cat.

"F-fine! I don't like you anyways!" Romano turned around and lay down with his head resting on his front paws.

England sighed. Once it seemed like he had calmed down, Edward started their argument again. "You've probably figured out that I'm a vampire by now, Arthur, seeing as you have more knowledge about magic and supernatural creatures than the average human. And from that little . . . display back there with the cat. Although my skin may be rock hard, my insides aren't. I'm not like you; I don't enjoy having sticks shoved up my 'arse' every once in a while, magical or not. It hurts!"

"Yeah, that's right, you like MORE than sticks up your arse, huh you naughty little vamp-kid?" England retorted slyly.

"What do you mean 'up the arse'?" Sealand asked. "That gives me a good idea, by the way. I was going to step on this anthill over here because these stupid creatures are getting boring, but now I want to poke it with a stick. Do you see one?"

"We are not going to look for damn sticks! We are going to figure out how to get out of this damn place and turn me back into a human!" screamed Romano while trying to claw Spain-cat to death.

"I think we should go this way," Peter suggested. He left his place by the ants and started walking purposefully away from the edge of the cliff. "And since I'm the leader, I still say we should look for sticks. I could get a walking stick and pretend I'm old, like England!"

By this point, Arthur had had enough, and he slapped Peter as hard as he could. He had bought the floating house so he could get away from these idiot nations. But, of course, they ended up annoying him anyway. Then the stupid fairy purloined his house!

"Mind your manners Peter! That is no way a proper young gentleman like yourself should act!" England scolded as he rolled up his shirt sleeves and prepared to give the micro-nation a good beating. Peter rubbed his cheek and sprinted on ahead. Previous experience had taught him that when Arthur snapped, it was wise to run.

"Come back here before I decide to make your backside BLEED!" England yelled chasing after the young boy.

"You . . . won't . . . catch . . . me!" the micro-nation panted. But it had been a while since he had been involved in a chase like this, and his breathing was getting harder and harder. He was starting to wonder if his legs were long enough to really outrun the Englishman. When he was about to give up, he saw something on the side of the path. Suddenly he shouted, "I FOUND A STICK!"

Arthur came up behind Peter panting heavily and bent over with hands on knees.

"Th-that's . . . not . . . A STICK!" He heaved out seeing that the stick was in fact a long snake that had started to wind its way around the small boy. Peter was feeling increasingly uneasy.

"Uh-uh, um. . . ." He wanted desperately to shake it off, but he didn't feel comfortable doing so with the snake's beady eyes watching him. The snake continued wrapping itself around Peter increasingly tightening its grip on him. Peter started to panic. "Aaaahh, get this snake off of me! HEELLP!"

No matter how many times he was labeled as "emo," no matter how many times he was chased out of a church, no matter how many times one of his kind killed another or someone made a gay joke about him, Edward would keep striving to prove there was good in him. Hearing the faint cry of "HEELLP!" from down the pathway, he knew this was his chance. There was definitely no hell in "help." So Edward raced towards the direction of the sound and widened his eyes in surprise. He saw Peter being strangled to death by a _rainbow_ boa constrictor. Edward quickly grabbed hold of Peter and tried to pry the snake off of him. But the more he pulled the more the snake tightened its hold on Peter until suddenly it bit the poor boy.

"Be gentle, Edward," England warned. "For that is a magical snake; it could be the last of its kind!"

At that very statement, the snake released its hold and stared directly into the Brit's eyes.

"Why hello there darling!" the snake said in a high far-off voice. "I see you recognize my powers, _oui_?"

"Well, whatever you are, you made Peter's skin rainbow-colored!" cried Edward.

"If you hadn't been pulling on me so hard, I wouldn't have bitten him," the snake retorted. "Although, I did _love_ the feel of your cool touch."

Arthur squinted his eyes and observed the snake very closely. "You're a twisted sort of beautiful. I think I'm going to hate you."

"Non, you will love me!" the snake said while curling his tail up in a sinister way. "By the way, _je m'appelle Francis, et je vais te faire_.*"

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><p><strong>*My name is Francis, and I'm going to do you.<strong>


	3. Inside

**A/N: This chapter is rated MA.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Inside<strong>

All of the day's near-death experiences were starting to take their toll on Peter's mentality. The young boy shook slightly, staring in disbelief at his multicolored skin.

"Never mind, Arthur, I want to go home! I could call a balloon to pick us up or something," he hoped. "I know your phone's in your back pocket; you don't have to hide it from me anymore. I promise not to prank call any of the other nations pretending to be you."

He reached around to the back of England's pants and dug around for his phone. England's facial expressions changed multiple times as the boy felt his way around his arse to extract the phone.

"C-careful there P-peter!" Arthur gasped just as he felt a tingle go up his spine from Peter's feather-light touch. Francis's scales shone brighter.

"I do not know if you are aware—Peter, you say?—but now that I have bitten you, there is a—ah—intimate bond—between us. I feel all that you feel, mon petit garçon. And does it feel good." The snake shot a seductive glance at the Brit.

"Nnnnghhh!" England bit his lip frustratedly. "S-stop touching my bloody arse! … Wait . . . NO! I take that back! NOT BLOODY! … Damn American. . . ."

The sophisticated slimy creature wound itself around England's shoulders. "I am not touching anything! . . . Yet. Also, something you should know—I'm not American, I am French. You know how the French do this, right?"

Arthur furrowed his monstrous eyebrows and glared at the "French-snake."

"I know you're French you wanker! Of course I do; I mean just listen to that terrible accent!" He yelled at the snake before muttering under his breath, "… I wasn't at all talking about my ex-boyfriend. . . ."

The hand on his backside kept rubbing. "Peter, don't add to this!"

"Hehehe, but you feel so good brother! Plus it makes Mr. Snake happy and you UN-happy!" Peter replied joyously.

"Screw you two buggers." England sat down, not caring if he sat on France-snake's tail or his brother's hand. Then he noticed Edward with a completely disgusted expression on his face.

"I can read your minds, you guys," Edward whimpered, "That's my vampire power, and . . . I'm a virgin! Please don't contaminate my innocent mind! Peeta—I mean, Peter—please just hurry up and call someone!"

"Did you say pita, as in the bread? I'm hungry, and we're stuck in the middle of nowhere! And I didn't get to finish making my scones!" Peter glared at Arthur. Then he opened up his phone to finally call someone, but then he closed it again. "I forgot—there's no service here! Can I put the phone back in your pocket, Arthur?"

"You put the phone back in his pocket and you'll be providing another kind of service," Francis told him. Stimulated by his inner magic and a few other things, the snake's rainbow stripes glittered and his tail grew an extra foot. The added length allowed him to sneakily wrap his tail around Arthur's wrists and hold them together.

Edward couldn't detect this just by listening in on Francis's thoughts; for the snake, this behavior was more of an instinct than a conscious thought.

"Just give me the phone," the vampire suggested.

"But it's fun watching Arthur squirm . . . and it makes Mr. Snake happy. I think we should be best friends," said the micronation, playing with the phone. It had a top that flipped open, and this was one of many observations that made Peter think Arthur was "unhip." Anyone who liked as many old-fashion things as Arthur couldn't be cool. He found the menu, and then selected the icon that said "messages." To his surprise most of the messages were from America. He opened one up and saw a quite flattering picture of Alfred.

"Give me the phone, Peter!" Edward repeated. "I didn't need to see that, and neither did you! 'Twas mind-scarring . . . THE AGONY!"

Romano jumped on Peter's shoulder, peeked over at the phone, sharply mewed, and promptly fell off the boy's shoulder in surprise. "Do as he says! Give the damn phone to Edward!"

Before he could hit the ground, the multicolored snake stretched over Arthur's shoulder and sank his teeth into Romano's scruff. Romano's fur rippled, then metamorphosed to match the colors of Francis's scales and Peter's skin. Then Francis swiveled his long neck around to look at Edward. "You say you're a virgin, oui, Edward? I'll definitely be changing that. Feel free to join in Arthur—I wouldn't be opposed to a ménage à trois*."

There was a faint rustle, and the oldest of the six was up a tree before he could become rainbow-colored, too. "I'm sorry boys . . . but I'm not gay!"

"No you aren't, but I am. Being happy is much better than being sad," stated Sealand.

"Aaah! Take me with you, you uncontaminated—er, less contaminated bastard! Edward! Come down and get me, I don't feel safe down here with these crazy people!" Romano threw himself at the tree, scrabbling to get up on the first branch. Antonio tried to follow, but Romano saw him coming and swiped his paw at him.

The Englishman tried to reach out and catch the falling cat, but when he met resistance he finally realized what was restraining him.

"J'adooorrrre being a ssssnake," whispered Francis into Arthur's ear. "I can ssslither into places I could never have gone before."

And at that, the Frenchman unwrapped Arthur's wrists and slid his slick tail past the waistband of his pants, rubbing it up and down the valley of his derrière the best he could while his victim was seated. Arthur gasped slightly as a shiver ran down his spine. "W-what the hell do you think you're doing? G-get off me you wanker! … Can snakes wank?"

"Of course we can! How do you think we make baby snakes? If we didn't, it wouldn't be very fun." Then the snake wriggled its tail down deeper into the Englishman's pants, sensually rubbing until his hemipene emerged. He then dragged it against the man making him moan with unwanted pleasure. That was when both of them heard a loud thump and turned around to see that Edward had fainted and fallen out of the tree. Arthur jumped; Edward's body had landed face-up right between his legs and he had to scoot back to avoid being flattened.

"E-edward! Get him off me!" England spat when Edward about landed on him.

Having recently fallen a few hundred feet, the vampire was in no position to help his British acquaintance. The best he could do was complain about his head and leave Arthur to get more and more uncomfortable when he felt Francis's tail start to poke at his entrance.

"Nngghhh . . . d-don't touch me there!" Arthur whined at the boa. He squirmed and tried to free himself from its tight hold, but it only made the snake grip tighter causing a great strain on both of their bodies.

"Mais, mon cher, you know that you wish for me to enter your tight cavern." Francis hissed flicking his long tongue out to taste the Brit's sweet flesh.

Like he was dancing to the tune of a snake charmer's flute, the Parisian snake moved back and then danced up under the front of Arthur's shirt, brushing his soft underbelly against the other's.

"I can't see what you're doing Mr. Snake, hold on," Peter inquired. "If I'm going to be a part of this I have to know what sex looks like, don't I?" Before anyone could answer him, he yanked his brother's pants down to his ankles so he could have a better view. Arthur fought to keep his modesty but Sealand had already stripped him of his pants.

"Oh, Peter, let me inform you about making love my dear child." Francis said flicking his tongue out again. This time his tongue hit the Briton's face making his face wrinkle up in disgust.

"S-stop it! Peter is much too young for this!" Arthur cried out almost in tears. "Don't touch me, I don't want to go like this!"

"But you won't be going, Rosbif, you'll be coming." Francis regretted not having hands anymore, because he couldn't touch his partners properly. Still, he slithered down Arthur's body slowly, getting closer and closer to his destination. Arthur tightened his body up and tried to make it harder for the snake to access what he sought so badly. Francis payed no attention to the Englishman's tactics and continued wrapping himself around his legs. The boa turned his head and looked straight into England's emerald eyes, his own were just narrow blue slits, and nuzzled his warm scaled head into the Brit's tousled hair. "You are quite silly, I still will have you though, my love."

Arthur tried fruitlessly to close his legs, but the boa was too heavy. The least he could do was try to bend his knees and get further away from Edward, and Francis let him for simplicity's sake. The snake nodded his head at the Briton's length. "Sealand, if you please. . . ."

Peter was about to take off his own clothes when, suddenly, a large, sparkling silver fish with gold eyes, wearing a pink tutu, popped out of the ground next to them. The Italian cat slid out his claws and pounced on it like he'd never pounced before. Then Edward, who was now wide awake and alert, jumped up and screamed, "Don't eat her! It's Alice!"

"How did I get here?" exclaimed Alice-fish in a soft, high-pitched squeal. "All I remember was a small yellow fairy flying into my fashion design studio."

Romano paused with his paw in the air and glanced at the fashionable fish, at Edward, and finally at England when he heard a soft moan.

"Edward! Oh no! I had a vision of someone getting raped! Help them!" Alice vigorously flopped around trying to move towards the others.

Her brother got up and picked her up off the ground; he knew that if his sister didn't have a fish-brain she would have been worried about dirt muddying her scales. Edward considered stopping the sexual activities happening right next to him, but then he remembered something. "But Alice, he's British. Don't you have a grudge against all Brits?"

"He's British?" Alice shuddered and flashbacked to the time that one British pirate—What was his name? Oh yes, Jack Sparrow—made fun of her for being weird. "Then I hate him. They think they're sooo much better than the rest of us. Ugh!"

She had been a fish back then, too, and was scared of big, burly, black-bearded, bygone barbarians. If her memory served her correctly, Captain Sparrow had even threatened to use her as a decoration for a cake he was going to make for his cat's seventh birthday. Of course, the experience could've been another one of her "hallucinations" before she became a vampire. All the while Alice was reflecting on her past, Edward had gently set her down and had run over to attempt to help poor Arthur.

_Okay,_ thought Edward. _How should I break this up? They aren't as strong as I am, so should I be gentle? On the other hand it is rape, so maybe I should show off my deer-killing strength. Hmmm. . . ._

Sealand's hand accepted the invitation and reached out to stroke Arthur's erect member.

"Stop," Arthur whined.

"No, ALL OF YOU STOP!" Edward thundered.

Peter jumped. "Why?"

"This is just not right," stated Edward. "We really should be finding a way to survive here until we can get off this rock, change back into our human forms, and exact revenge on the DAMN FAIRY!"

Francis's upper body became still, acting like he was ashamed to be caught in the act. Lower down, he just wiggled his tail a good way up the other end of Arthur's food tube. The Brit grunted, and Edward detected what he was feeling by reading his thoughts.

"FRANCIS YOU DEER!" he shouted, leaping towards the snake. He clenched his jaw around the upper part of the snake and pulled as hard as he could. He heard screaming from both Francis and Arthur as he injected vampire venom into the snake's bloodstream while pulling it too tightly that it yanked its tail too quickly out of England's arse, all the while Sealand was watching the entire episode with a traumatized expression on his face.

The victim's stomach was starting to churn. It wasn't all like the feeling of an impending orgasm, but more of a cold knot that wouldn't go away. Arthur was mortified at what had just happened; unfortunately for him, his younger brother started to catch on to his feelings.

Falling head-over-heels into an adult world, Sealand had no idea what to do but knew he had to do something. The only option he could see was right in front of him, so he quickly grabbed Arthur's pudendum and yanked on it, hoping to cause pleasure.

"Is this right, Francis? Can you see me?"

But no one could hear him over all the screaming. France had fallen to the ground, his rainbow scales changing colors so fast that even Edward's vampire eyes were hurting. England tried kicking Sealand but found that he could barely move his legs from the pain in his backside. Both Romano and Antonio had frozen beside Alice, looking back and forth, deciding whether to help out the situation or, while no one was looking, eat the poor fish who was flopping around again to see what was happening with her own eyes.

Once England's mind was back to normal, he realized that the squishy feeling of the jungle creature inside of him would probably stick with him for the rest of his life. That gross feeling of Francis's tail—getting wider as it was pushed farther in him. Somehow he managed to pull away from Peter's grabby hand and flip himself over to shield himself from twelve prying eyes. That was when Alice finally reached the Brit and started to whack him repeatedly right in his face-consuming eyebrows. Arthur brought his arms up in protection while sobbing into the dusty forest floor. "Why is everyone torturing me today!"

Then a horrible screeching noise came from France-snake's direction. Alice-fish stopped whacking England, and they both turned to see the Frenchman growing legs and arms out of his widening body. His scales were also blending together and changing colors to a pinkish-tan. Francis slowly transformed back into a human, albeit a vampire human.

"W-what's happening to me? My beautiful body, it's coming back!" Francis exclaimed. He looked over his newly recovered human form and struck a pose. "You like what you see?"

"Get some clothes on!" ejaculated Edward.

"Yeah, you bastard!" yelled Romano, scolding France. "That goes against religion! And just about everything good and right."

"But I like my body uncovered. Besides, no one has any clothes," Francis retorted.

England blushed furiously and scrambled up, planning to make a dash for the bushes and fashion a loincloth of leaves or something like that. But he happened to glance back, and when he did he noticed a rainbow-colored puddle where he just got up. Realizing something he cautiously ran a finger up his ass. It felt okay―besides the constant sting, that is. He was just about to resume his dash to the woods when Sealand broke out laughing.

"Your―your arse! France, look! His hole is rainbow-colored, just like you were! AND MEEEEEE! Is there a sparkle snake somewhere around here? I must have sparkles because Arthur said it was manly. Come on, even that fish's scales are shiny and kind of sparkly. I swear it's not fair!" the young micronation cried.

"That's enough!" Antonio suddenly yelled, and in a flash of brilliant white light, he turned into a tall man with medium skin, dark hair, and long earlobes―although he still had a somewhat feline look. He was holding a set of clothes, which he held out to France. "I am Siddhārtha Gautama**, and I am appalled by your behavior!"

* * *

><p><strong>*Threesome<strong>** (You probably already figured that out.)**

****Buddha's real name**


	4. Outward

**Chapter 4: Outward**

Alice flopped over to Siddy* and stared at him startled. "You're Buddha? Even I didn't see that coming."

"That's because that supernatural stuff doesn't work on me. I helped create the supernatural."

"Then can you turn me back into a vampire? Please?" squealed Alice.

"Not right now I can't. Sorry," replied Buddha in a not so sorry tone.

After Antonio disappeared, Romano started to feel alone. Alone with the craziest people in the world. Not that Spain wasn't crazy, but the worst he would ever do was try to kiss him. The puffy Italian feline was definitely out of his comfort zone, not sure what would happen to him now. He wondered if the person on his right was really Buddha or just a realistic hallucination.

Buddha gave France the clothes and told him to put them on while giving them all the scariest death glare anyone had ever seen.

Before Francis could move England snatched the clothes from Siddy's hand. Siddy glared at him harder.

"What? I need pants, too," Arthur argued.

"See, even _he_still wants me naked," France commented.

"No, I just need clothes!"

Buddha made an extremely exasperated sigh and waved his hand. The pants and underwear Peter had taken off of Arthur flew over to them and landed on the Brit's head. "Now give those clothes to the Frenchman!"

Francis scoffed at the divine choices the divine, divine Buddha had divinely made for France's obscenely non-divine-but-just-as-pretty self.

"Those are not my style," he stated, hoping not to offend.

"Wear them anyway!" yelled the divine being. "When the Divine Mother asked me to see what was going on down here, I didn't know she meant for me to babysit a bunch of whiny children."

The former snake sorted through the pile and pulled on only the pants. "Stupid divine feline-thing. Why are you Buddha? Why can't you be some easygoing Spanish god or whatever? Antonio wouldn't care whether I wore clothes or not."

"I'm usually very easygoing, but you guys interrupted a very intense game of poker I was playing with my buddies Jesus, Venus, Muhammad, the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Isis, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster!"

"How?" "I lost the game." "Mon cher ami, could you perhaps introduce me to Venus? Maybe she could give me advice on amour." England asked incredulously, Edward muttered, and France commented, respectively, all at the same time.

Siddy turned toward England, who had gotten his pants back on, and answered his question, "You were using magic excessively and inappropriately, so the Divine Mother commanded me to come down here to see what was going on!"

"And, yes, I was losing, too," he said to Edward, who thought he was completely clueless at first. "But I see what you did there! We heavenly beings cannot get roped into 'mortal games' and whatnot, and we definitely cannot lose them. Sorry to disappoint. If this stresses you out, we can have a private yoga session if you would like." Buddha grinned.

"Wait a minute . . . Magic? We never used any magic! That was all the fairy's doing!" exclaimed Alice.

England thought back to the flying house and realized that he might have gone a little overboard. His ears were still ringing from the popping noises the balloons had made when the house had gone down and his traumatic experience. "Yeah, don't blame me! I've already had enough upsets today."

Buddha looked at them for a moment, then asked, "What fairy?"

From the tired and messy state of everyone there, Buddha figured it must have been a pretty mischievous fairy.

"How do you know about the fairy?" England asked Alice.

"Well, obviously, I wasn't originally a fish!" she replied, offended. Then she directed her large golden orb eyes towards Siddy and said, "That little fairy with the unicorn and vulture and yellow lightsaber."

Buddha's eyes widened in alarm. "_Tā mā de!_** That's why Cupid and Queen Mab were looking scared today. Their son escaped!"

Seeing that Siddy was ignoring him, France nonchalantly stowed the rest of the clothes away in the bushes. After careful eavesdropping, something became clear to him. If Cupid was unhappy, he was no longer shooting people with his arrows of love. If Francis could make Cupid happy, maybe he would shoot Arthur or Romano-cat for him! "We must go find him and bring him back then!"

Romano gave Francis a skeptical look. "Just a minute a go you wanted to do Arthur. What brought the change of mind?"

"There never really was, mon ami. You are both very attractive." Francis stopped to think. "Well, in your human forms, mainly. But don't deny that I was a very beautiful snake!"

"That's not what I meant. I want to know why you suddenly want to find Rumpels, you know that's completely un-sex related, right?"

"I can't have a good heart, too?"

"Ah. A-hah," grumbled Edward, who knew the real reason Francis wanted to find Rumpels. "Want to hear another joke?"

"No!" Buddha hollered. "We need to go catch Rascally Rumpels before he destroys the universe!"

"This is a fact," agreed the furtive Frenchman.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Alice added. "Someone pick me up, and let's go!"

_Now's my chance to escape from that clingy bastard,_Romano thought. He started heading back to the cliff, walking as quietly as possible. He catwalked all the way to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Underneath was an endless patch of dark green trees. Suddenly, there was a loud CRUNCH, and Romano found himself falling through the air. He seriously doubted that the small amount of magic in his body would be enough to help him survive the fall. It was depressing to think he would die alone, in some mutated cat form. Romano saw a mammoth branch come closer and closed his eyes when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. Edward had caught him!

_Alice is a godsend,_Edward thought. Without her there was no way he would have made it in time. He was lucky he had found a big enough branch to support his weight; if he hadn't he would have had to wait on the ground, and Romano would have attained plenty of scratches on the way down. "Are you alright?"

"No! I am not alright! I almost died!" screamed Romano in his cat voice.

"Why were you running in the first place? I was the scariest thing up there." The vampire quickly flitted to the trunk of the tree, where the branches were thicker. It wouldn't have been much help if both of them had fallen through to the forest floor.

"I just wanted to get away!" the Italian cried. "And now, the others will be probably making their way here again!"

Edward looked around, seeing if he could use his vampy-senses to sense danger. "But it's dangerous out there without your friends! There are, um, squirrels!"

"I'm a cat! A vampire cat! I eat squirrels!"

"Why? Oh, I get it! You want to be a selective vegetarian vampire like―oh wait, hold on, I think I can hear the others calling us." Both vampires looked up and saw the others floating down, being magically held up by Buddha.

Romano twitched his whiskers upon hearing the argument between the two Britons.

"You don't smoke incense like cigars," Arthur said to Sealand.

"Hmph! Let's ask Siddy. He's probably an expert on the subject of incense. You know, with religion and everything."

The religious figure lowered his magical Force and deposited everyone on the branch.

"This, kiddies," he said pointing to the lighted stick Peter had in his mouth, "is my favorite catnip incense! And it tastes so much better than tobacco! Of course, it's still not very good for your health to smoke it."

The Italian cat had a sudden impulse and jumped toward the stick of incense. In one bite, he swallowed the entire stick while also accidentally mauling the poor little micronation holding it.

"No!" Siddy shouted. "That incense was magical material!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" cried Sealand.

"Meeooooow," answered Romano. His eyes widened. He opened his mouth again to try to make words but all that came out was another meow.

_Stupid enticing catnip,_Romano thought. He turned around to try to find a way to show the others that he couldn't talk when he saw, in the tree branch next to them, two colorful parrots kissing. The cat jumped to catch them; he thought they would make a nice meal. He opened his mouth and felt a claw swipe at his face. It was an extremely gargantuan eagle, as big as a king size bed! The eagle grabbed both parrots in its claws and flew away. Needless to say, Romano missed the birds and went hurtling off the tree. He didn't appreciate the eagle when it caught him, even though it had just saved his life.

"See that? That was a very noble thing for the eagle to do," Siddy commented. "I thought all Aztecs would hold a grudge against the universe after we divine beings turned them into eagles a long time ago."

"Why did you do that?" asked Edward.

"We gave them the privilege of using magic, but they misused their powers so we punished them."

England put his hands behind his back and whistled non-suspiciously. _Misusing magic? Why would anyone do that?_he thought.

"Why are we just standing here? Shouldn't we be looking for Rumpels?" exclaimed France. He grabbed Romano's tail as the eagle flew past him.

The eagle, however, wouldn't let go of the cat and spoke up, "I am taking Mr. Vargas back to his homeland where the rest of the Volturi are."

Romano's eyes widened with happiness and waved his paw to the others as if to say hasta la vista, baby!France shifted his footing on the branch so as not to fall off and in the process accidentally let go of the cat's tail.

"Bye bye!" squeaked Alice. "Have fun being a vampire cat forever!"

Edward was worried. He didn't want anyone to be stuck as something they didn't want to be, like he had. "Wait, Alice. There is a way to change him back, right?"

"Too late. The eagle's gone," Alice answered.

"Can we steal a car and go after it?" her brother suggested.

"We are wasting time. Let's go get Rascally Rumpels!" Buddha interjected. The religious figure conjured a car out of thin air, but it fell to the ground and crashed. He jumped off the branch onto the ground and waved his hand to fix the car, a shiny red Prius. Then he waved his hand again, and everyone else floated down to the jungle floor.

"This is great! I'll drive!" Sealand claimed.

"Absolutely not!" England replied. "Let the oh-so-divine being drive," he said, sarcastically emphasizing oh-so-divine.

"Gracias, amigo!" said Siddy.

"What? You can still speak Spanish?" England wondered out loud.

"Of course I can speak Spanish! I can speak every language, including Shyriiwook***," replied Buddha.

Edward ran a hand through his gelled hair in frustration. "But how does that help us _now_?" he asked. "Let's just get in the car."

Buddha got into the driver's seat and watched as the others raced to try to get the front passenger seat. Edward won as he was fast for even a vampire. Sealand ended up sitting in the back between the two passenger seats. He had tried hard to get a good seat, but somehow everyone still managed to be faster than him.

"Everyone buckled up?" asked Buddha. Then, without waiting for a reply, he slammed down the gas pedal and accelerated to 100 mph in less than five seconds, an amazing feat for a Prius.

From previous experiences, Alice expected the Prius to be a bit more roomy. The car was so cramped with the six of them that the vampire-turned-fish felt claustrophobic even though she was resting on her brother's lap. As the Prius lurched forward, Alice felt someone in the back slam into Edward's seat. The car kept going full speed ahead, but then it started to make soft sputtering sounds. It slowed down until it came to a complete halt and sent Alice flying forwards into the windshield with a loud smack.

"NOOOOO! Alice!" Edward screamed. He peeled her off the windshield and held her delicate body in his hands.

"I'm okay Brother," She gasped. "J-just set me down."

Edward carefully set her down on top of the dashboard when, with his super!vampire skills, he felt a minute vibration in the ground.

Arthur leaned out of the Prius's window and saw a small puddle rippling on the forest floor. The ripples grew larger and larger as the minutes passed. "U-um guys? I think there's something out there," he murmured to no one in particular.

"What was that!" Sealand pointed out the front window. They had been driving near the edge of another cliff, and he thought he had seen a long, thick, vine-like, cream-colored appendage waving around in the sky.

France turned around and looked towards the precipice. "Oh, I am sure zat it was nothing at all," He replied uneasily. That was when something grabbed the small car and lifted it up in the air. Sealand's curiosity took over and he leaned out the window to try to see what it was.

Then he saw the woman and nearly vomited.

* * *

><p><strong>*Yes, we nicknamed Buddha "Siddy."<strong>

****A Chinese curse phrase roughly equal to the /F/ word in English**

*****The language that Wookiees from _Star Wars_ speak**


	5. Within

**Chapter 5: Within**

She was standing at the edge of the cliff, the ugliest thing Peter had ever seen before. She had deeply-sunken black eye sockets and silver eyes that looked like tiny pinpoints of stars. Her hair was honey-blond and so long that it reached to the ground. The "thing" had a mouth that stretched from ear-to-ear and contained needle-like teeth. Her arms were very stubby, but her fingers were long, writhing tentacles with suction cup tips. The thing's body was mysteriously surrounded by mist, giving her an ethereal appearance.

The young boy pulled himself back into the car as fast as he could, scared out of his mind by her unnatural smile. In his shock, he grabbed the closest thing to him which happened to be France. Sealand was so unsettled he didn't even care.

Buddha fought to gain control of the car and managed to bring the Prius back down to the ground  
>with his powers, but it was out of gas. The horrific woman took a step towards the car, and Buddha rolled up all the windows as fast as he could. He looked back to all the passengers in the car and saw Peter hugging France as though he was a life jacket, France with a pleased expression on his face, and England staring out the window at the lady in horror.<p>

Edward had been silently staring at the creature the whole time, trying not to draw attention to himself. But when he noticed how terrified the others were, he spoke up. "Who is she?" he asked to no one in particular.

"That, my children, is Abeloth," explained Buddha. "She was once a beautiful mortal woman―so beautiful that the gods asked her to be their servant. Then she drank from the Font of Power and bathed in the Pool of Knowledge and became that thing you see there."

The nation of love shuddered at the sight and tried to pry Sealand off of him so he could flee, but the micronation wouldn't budge. "Is she―it, uh, the creature dangerous? Can it do anything to us?" France asked Buddha.

"That depends on what she wants," Buddha said with a grim expression on his face as he watched Abeloth float toward their car. "We don't know much about her since she's actually from a galaxy far, far away. All I know is that she can take over people's bodies."

Soon his grim expression turned into an even deeper frown and eventually a smile as his inner Spain resurfaced in his thoughts momentarily. _Yay! At least my Lovi is safe,_ he thought. He had gotten quite good at role playing over the past few days, and it was hard to get back out of character sometimes. The frown came back in a matter of seconds, though, because the more rational part of his enlightened head realized they were all doomed. Unless. . . .

Buddha opened the door and motioned for everyone else to step out of the car. Edward was the first to do so, as he still planned on being the one to defend everyone from the monster. He carried his sister in his pocket, as she had no way of walking on her own. Buddha led the others to face Abeloth and knelt down on his knees, nodding for the others to follow his lead. "Dear Beloved Queen of the Stars, we come in peace."

Half of them were shaking, and Abeloth knew it could only be from fear. She focused her gaze on the boy who was shaking most, which happened to be Peter. Abeloth turned and walked towards the group. Her mouth was pulled back into a grimace as her eyes scanned over the other people in the group.

"P-please don't tentacle-rape me!" Peter cried as Abeloth's eyes found his small figure once more. "I'm too young!"

France lifted his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and proceeded to make a snide remark. "Like that was stopping you earlier my dear micro-nation. You seemed rather keen on helping me seduce and have my way with your brother."

England shot a glare of steel at the elegantly posing Frenchman who was leaning proactively on the car as a showgirl might. "Stay away from me you bloody wanker! You all wank!" The eyebrow consumed man screamed at the whole of the party. Then he murmured into his shirt sleeve, "I bet even that skank over there fingers . . . That disgusts me. . . ."

Abeloth was not hearing impaired in the least bit. She turned to the small Brit and slithered her way to him. Hissing, she thrust an arm out and grabbed him by the collar. Her rank breath seeped into Arthur's mouth and filled his lungs. He gagged and tried to free himself from her iron-like grip.

"R-Release me at once! You monster!" he stuttered. Siddy looked at England with concern knowing that the nation stood no chance up to the Queen.

"You think you can order me around boy!" A thousand voices sounded from Abeloth's mouth.

Peter shrugged. "I don't think I have any real power to help. I mean, I'm not even a country! But I guess I could . . . I'm bored!" he yelled. He really was getting bored. Abeloth scared him at first, but then he recalled seeing someone like her in his English-bedtime-story-induced-nightmares.

Abeloth looked at the boy for second, and then she smiled a wide, toothy smile. Her body shimmered silver, and she changed into a beautiful woman. France let out the breath he was holding. It didn't escape Abeloth's notice that the Frenchman's position had shifted and he was now further up on the car. Abeloth gracefully walked to the car and looked up at Francis. A thin tentacle crept out of her sleeve and moved toward France's face. When the tentacle was just about to touch him, Abeloth moved away. She turned around and saw Edward holding his sister, and she glided toward them. In a flash, she wrapped him in her tentacles, forcing them into his mouth and up his nose.

Then Edward woke up.

* * *

><p><p>

**A/N: Please don't hate me for making it all a dream. There's still more to come. By the way, Abeloth is a villain from the _Star Wars_ expanded universe.****  
><strong>


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